The Turtle and Chemo Man

So I have entered another good week and if the weather would make up it's mind my headaches might clear up. Some things have gone better this time ad some things have not. I think I have a better grasp on taking my meds and knowing which ones to take when. That was an important step. The next one was getting a feel for why my stomach felt bad at any given moment. In my reading I have found a number of articles talking about a "disconnected stomach" which makes it hard telling if you are feeling sick or hungry or have heartburn and so on. Eating meals steadily through the day helps with the hunger part. Sleeping through the night was not as easy this time around. I have watched a fair amount of shows on Netflix in the wee hours of the morning. One time is okay while several days in a row is more of an issue. I did have less arm pain this time although I musalthough that was one cause of my sleep issues. It seems I like to sleep on the arm that hurts. I wake up and roll off of it and then find myself right back on it when I wake up. Still I think it was a more manageable pain this time around. I didn't get in a run this weekend which was a bummer. I had to work on Sunday and I didn't want to risk being too tired as I wasn't sure how long I might be at the office. I was able to get out and run 3 miles this evening. It was a great night for a run in the park and although I could be paced by a box turtle at this point I was happy to get in all 3 miles without having to walk. I hope to get in another run on Thursday which is Chemo Eve. Here comes cycle 2. I am looking forward to the end of cycle 2 and getting another PET scan to see where things are at. It has been great to hear from so many friends and family. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and I promise to get back to everyone soon. It has been nice to feel good again this week. It helps keep you sane. I have found myself asking the same question alot this weekend and week. How many days of feeling almost normal is enough to feel refreshed enough to start another round. Of course I am well aware that there are worse treatments than what I am going through and that there are people who are having a hard time in treatment from all kinds of cancer so I am not complaining about the way things are going I just wonder... How much time would it take to recharge and what is the smallest amount of time that would work? It always amazed me how quickly my wife went from labor pain to enjoying being with our new born children. The human mind and spirit are amazing and so are the healing powers of love and friendship. I am thankful to be doing well with the treatment so far and for having such wonderful friends and family. I hope you are all well.

Good bye hair

So It appears that my hair loss is on schedule. It appeared from most posts that it started right about the time of your second treatment and I noticed when we were at the doctor that I was starting to loss some and so home after the treatment yesterday and a massed a fair pile. I got it cut shorter today so it wouldn't be so messy and noticeable around the house. Don't want to see any tumbleweeds of hair laying about the house. I was mentally prepared for the hair loss and I don't believe myself to be a very vain person so I don't believe it will bother me too much I'm just not sure what I will look like bald. It's too bad I can't go swim at the pool I have really reduced my drag potential. Looking forward to trick or treating with the kids this year as Dr Evil and Eli as Mini me. Should be fabulous. I will make sure to include photos of that.

Chemo Eve

Today I have coined a new phrase Chemo Eve. What does one do on Chemo Eve you may ask yourself. Well, first you go for a run, if possible with friends or if you are really lucky with your spouse. Next you go out to a nice restaurant and enjoy a glass of wine a great steak and a baked potato. Then you go home and start hydrating. It is the great end to a week of feeling well and feeling well is a reason to celebrate.
The run was great tonight. I didn't break any speed records but I managed to cruise along for all 3 miles of the loop without any issues. It felt great to run without feeling tired. There is one thing I have noticed and that is the fact that my legs sort of feel foreign to me now. I just don't have the muscle control of my legs that I had before the first chemo. When I run my legs just feel off.

For my chemo buddies

So I feel the need to post for those who are interested in what is going to happen in their future or their loved ones future as they start into chemo.  I know that chemo is different to everyone but many of the posts I read were right on target for me so here is how it started off for me. 
Great nurses make for a great place to get your treatment.  The Duke Med facility was very nice.  The wait to get things going was pretty long because well you just can't time exactly how long it will take for someone to get all their meds in and you wouldn't want to push that time table.  The process was rather simple to start, the nurse went over the drugs that I would receive and we made sure that each medication was what I was expecting and matched my name and patient id.  The treatment I will be getting is ABVD and is going through IV.  I don't have a port or a PICC or a Hickman's just an everyday IV.  I didn't find this first process to be too painful.  There was pain in my arm at one point and the nurse slowed down the process and got me a warm beanie to lay on my arm.  The warm beanie is your friend and slow is slowing down the process if things get painful.  After I find out on Thursday how many more of these treatments I may have I might be pushing for a port.  And the reason for that is for me although at the time of treatment things felt fine.  A few days later I started to develop pain in my veins.  It started as a tingle and then a burn and later into an almost sharp pain.  At this point it is no longer a constant pain but my arm still feels achy.  So from the posts I have read the port is the way to go if you are having a large number of treatments so I wait for Thursday to see how many we are looking at.  I will let you know how that goes.  As for the time after the treatment.  I didn't feel bad after the treatment we made it home and I took my meds and talked for a while and then when the drugs kicked in I went to sleep.  The next few days I spent trying to get the timing of taking the meds down and figuring out what pains meant.  Is that I feel sick to my stomach or I'm hungry and need to eat or heartburn.  It took me awhile to work those things out.  When in doubt medication is your friend.  The nurses told me it was best to stay on top of your nausea.  Several sites mentioned mouth sores and staying on top of that.  I found that swishing salt water worked but the thing I found to help the most were ice cold smoothies.  The coldness really helped out.  Also, you can add so many things in a smoothie when you are not feeling up to eating a regular meal.  I am not sure what I would have done without the smoothie and the baked potato.  Great stuff.  It took me until about 6 or 7 days to feel normal again.  I felt pretty good most mornings but for some reason shortly after lunch things would go down hill.  By the time I made it home from work I was beat.
I am hoping that the second go around which is this Friday will go easier with the knowledge gained so far but we shall see. 

The week compressed

I feel bad for not posting for so long but this past week although it was short due to the labor day holiday was so very long.  I feel like I experienced a few weeks compressed into one but having come out on the other side I can report that starting on Monday I was feeling almost normal again.  I will skip the details of last week for this post and just say that I felt like I had the flu for the week.  On Saturday however my sister and her family came to Greensboro for the Thin Mint Sprint, possibly my favorite race in the Greensboro area, and we had a great time.  We ran the fun run 1 mile race with the kids and Jen and I raced the 5k while my sister watched the kids for us.  It was great.  It was the slowest time I have ever raced a 5k but it was a beautiful morning and it was great to be running/jogging after a week of just being exhausted.  After the race we went to see my sons first soccer game, ages 3-4, and had a blast watching the kids out there.  They were going everywhere with the ball and loving it.  The coaches and the referee got a great workout.  Jen and I had a ball watching the kids and Eli was a happy kid when we left.  The rest of the day was filled with the kids playing and me slowly feeling worse until I went to sleep.
However it was the last day of my feeling low as I started to feel better on Sunday and ended here with me today going out to the track to run/jog at my own pace with the group.  It is nice to feel normal again.  It may only be until Friday but it is nice to know that there is a part of the cycle where I will feel good and have a chance to recharge.  

Monday is for reflection

So I have made it through my first treatment. Although it takes two treatments to equal one cycle. I thought I started out pretty good. Saturday went fairly well after treatment but Sunday was not a fun day and it took me most of the day to get my stomach feeling normal enough to want to stand up or move around. However, today was much better and I was able to venture out of the house on a short trip with the kids to the park before heading back home for more sleep. Today and all this week I am thankful for the baked potato. I don't know what I would have done without you and of course the butter and sour cream that went along with you. Yummy. I hope I have turned a corner and tomorrow will be a great day. We shall see. Thanks to everyone who has sent me well wishes and helped me along this weekend. It really did make a difference to hear from everyone. I will try to write more now that I am feeling better.

Dave

Saturday is for comedy

Let me start this off by saying that I love my parents and I know they love me.  However we do not see eye to eye on my running.  They would prefer I ran fewer miles and in the runner community I do run fewer miles.  So after being diagnosed with NS Hodgkin's they have renewed there campaign to get me to cut back so, today the day after my first treatment and even though I was still rather wiped out this morning I got up dressed in my running shorts and shirt and came downstairs in search of my mother to let her know I was going to run something short like 8 miles.  At first I could see she was trying to accept this and she struggled for almost a minute before she said I shouldn't go run.  It actually made my morning as my wife and I laughed and told my mother that I was pulling her leg.  I walked back up stairs had some breakfast and went back to bed.  The day has gone well.  I feel slightly nauseous but I haven't been sick.  I went to the Science Center with my kids and out for some ice cream afterwards.  It was a good day.  The lump on my neck has really gone down which is nice.  I like that.  And tomorrow, depending on how I feel when I wake up I may just go out for a run and test the waters some.  Have a great Labor Day weekend everyone.

Thursday was Tempo run... Friday is chemo #1

I had a nice day with my parents yesterday at Duke getting a round of tests done. PET scan, pulmonary test and Cardio test. There were all painless and the nurses and techs were great. Made it home in time to join the running group on their Tempo run. All the people my pace were out so I ran with someone a little too fast for me and suffered the remaining miles of the run but finished it up. I have accepted that not all runs are great and some will make you suffer and some will be fabulous but it was great to be out there. My parents watched the kids for Jen and I and we went out for dinner and had a great time.
At the moment we are on our way to Duke Med for ABVD number 1. Feeling good. Drinking plenty of water on the way over as everyone has suggested and had some pancakes for breakfast hope that was a good choice. I have some movies loaded on the iPad ready to watch with Jen thanks to my wonderful sisters. Thank you both. I have my anti-nausea meds filled and ready to go thanks to Jen. So here we go.
I wonder if I will do my long run with the group tomorrow. :). Maybe not.

Tuesday is hills

The hills work out today was challenging and really worked my legs out. I left the park feeling worn but happy. I still had time to see Eli practice soccer and it was once again very amusing to watch. I can't wait to see the first game it is going to be hilarious. I am very interested to see how chemo is going to go on Friday. I have heard people say they had no problems doing it by IV and others say that the port was great for them. It remains to be seen which will be best for me. I don't like the idea of sitting with an IV for 4 hours versus the 2 hours or so for the port. But it would be nice not to have to worry about infections from the port. We will have to wait and see. I am going to need to find the skin numbing cream that sounds like a good idea and also get some advise on things to eat before and immediately after chemo. If there are things that are known to help.

Sunday is a long run

I had a great run this morning. The air was cool, I felt good and finished strong it was just what I wanted from my run. 8 miles is not a very long run but it was good enough for me. I was a bit wiped out later on when I got home from the Farmer's Market with the kids but it wasn't too bad. My sister and her children came out this weekend as well and we had a great time and she watched the kids so my wife and I could have a date night. It was a good last weekend before I start up treatment. I am anxious to see how I do after the first treatment. We will just have to wait and see.

Friday is 4 for the Price of 1

I have read some good blogs out there and they have helped me get a feel for what's ahead.  So today I was prepared for the bone marrow test.  I was ready for a little pain and had brought some humor along to keep things light.  I was however not prepared for the medical bargain that I would receive today.  Today's blue light special was on bone marrow tests.  I believe that I had 4 tests for the price of one.  In all my reading I hadn't come across anyone stating that sometimes when the needle is pulled out the piece of bone doesn't always stay in.  So we repeated a few times until we were able to get some persistent bone to hang on.  I do feel sorry for my doctor because I could feel her arms shaking as she was pushing the needle in the last few times.  I think my bones gave her a good workout for the day.  :)  
The remaining tests I have been waiting to schedule for staging have been scheduled for next week and chemo will start next Friday.  I've been trying to get the train rolling and it appears we are about to leave the station.  ABVD here I come. 
On a different note my doctor asked me a question today that I could not answer.  She asked why I decided to run my first marathon two years ago.  I know that at the time I decided to run the marathon I had only ever run 5k's.  I had run greater distances but never in a race.  I had read about marathons in Runner's World and seen them in the Olympics but up until that year I had never thought of doing one.  Running a marathon would be a real push.  It would be a test of myself on a level I had never tried for.  But I can think of no more concrete reason than that as to why I choose to run my first.  I can with certainty tell you what kept me running my first marathon and that was my daughter.  I watched her go through 6 weeks of IV drugs for an infection and I have never seen someone so brave and the fact that she was 5 makes it even more amazing to me.  I remember her at her birthday party with a cover over her PICC line running around with her friends at Chucky Cheese.  I choose to run the race for me but my motivation through out the race was my daughter.  And this time my daughter has shown me the way to confront being sick.  So I will not be sitting around feeling sorry for myself but you may find me running around with my family and friends having fun when I can have it.          

Thursday is a group run

Thursday was a group run out of Off'n'Running.  Which is a great running store in town.  The run felt good.  I pushed a little but not too hard and finished 4 miles feeling good.  Tomorrow I meet my Oncologist for the first time and I am ready to get things rolling along again.  I don't like the periods of time where I am left wondering about things.  The worst time for me so far was the wait for the results after the biopsy.   Now that I am home from vacation and back to work it is the wait to get this staged that has me anxious.  I would just like to know how far along this is and what treatment I have in store.  I have found several sites of people going through various chemo treatments and wondering about training during the process.  I wonder why exactly we want to do it so badly, the training that is.  I started working out years ago to get ready for a hiking trip to Yellowstone.  It had been years since I had run or worked out on a regular basis.   This all just started off as a means to getting in shape for hiking.  But now running is a means unto itself.  I don't really need a goal race or a PR to break to keep me going out there.  I just love to do it.  For those moments when you are lost in the movement.   When you seem to be moving without any effort and you feel like you could run forever.  You also get to experience each season as it passes.  Catching the sweet smell of honeysuckle in the spring, the sounds of the cicadas in the summer, the cool crisp air in the fall that is so welcome after the summer months, leaves changing color and covering the paths in the fall, bright vibrant colors and in the winter if it snows the soft almost white noise of snowing falling through the leaves.  It is to me I suppose a meditation of mind and body.  And of spirit.
I started saying a new prayer each night since I found out I had this, "God grant me the strength to show love and happiness to those around me everyday."  So I will end with that and get some sleep.  

Tuesday is track day

I really enjoyed running with the group tonight. It really helped motivate me to run harder. I did a 1 mile warmup, 2 x 100 form drills, 6 x 400 and a 800 meter cool down. After I was able to get over to the park and watch my son finish up his first soccer practice. He is 4 and this is his first team sport and he did great. Watching the kids run around and have so much fun was great. I am really looking forward to seeing more practices and his first game. Tomorrow I will see my surgeon who performed the biopsy and Friday it is off to meet my oncologist at Duke. I have been reading more literature on Hodgkin's Lymphoma. We received a packet from Team in Training with resources. It has been a good read although it has made me more interested in the treatment as the different treatments have unique possible side effects and late term effects. I hadn't heard about as many of the late term effects before. I knew some chemotherapy could damage your lungs or heart but I had not heard about the long term cognitive effects from radiation therapy near the neck which is where the largest mass of lymph nodes seem to be infected now. I will keep reading and try to ask as many questions as I can remember at the doctors appointment on Friday. I am looking forward to getting on with staging so I can see where things are at. Still happy that this is has such a high cure rate and thankful for all the friends and family that have been offering support and prayers.
Thursday is a run at the local running store. Looking forward to a run around the parks.

Research

I have been spending some time online trying to get an idea from other's out there as to how much running/exercise people have been able to do while on chemotherapy and whether it helped or hindered. It appears from my searches that it depends on the person. I have seen posts from bodybuilders, runners and triathletes and some of them were able to continue normal routines and some were tired walking upstairs at home or down a block outside. I found one person who trained for a marathon during their treatment. I do not think that continuing to train for a marathon is right for me. I don't want to spend all my free time recovering from runs and missing time with my wife and kids. I have planned to drop down to a half marathon with the understanding that it is all open to change. The race I commited to is late October so I would be probably 1 or 2 treatments in. I will just have to wait and see on what I can do when I get to each treatment.
Last night while eating with my wife and in-laws my father in-law suggested that we do the Wilmington Beach to Battleship next year as a relay team to celebrate when this is over. It sounded great to me so 2012 Beach to Battleship is my first race commitment next year.

Thursday is tempo day

Thursday I went on a tempo run.  I can safely say that I didn't find a good tempo out there.  I went out way too fast to start and then slogged the remaining two miles with some walk breaks.  On the plus side my neck swelling has gone down enough that I was able to look straight ahead.  On my first run I spent a good bit gazing down but not today.  That felt great.  I haven't needed to ice my neck at night and I haven't needed pain medication to help with sleeping the last two nights.  I still look at bit like Frankenstein but a less self conscious Frankenstein.  The other day we were getting ready to go to the beach and Jen said  we needed to wait so she could shave her legs and I teased her that since I was going to the beach as Frankenstein the least she could do is go as a werewolf.  I don't believe that she found this as humorous as I did.
To be honest I was feeling down after the run I hate to think my running has slipped so much and I haven't started any treatments.  My long runs have gone from 13 miles to 9 and then 0 after my biopsy and then 4 this past Saturday.  I am not sure what I want to aim for on Saturday.  I would like to get back to 8. I don't want to turn my running into something that makes me sad or worried about where I am physically.  I still want it to be fun. I have recovered some while sitting here writing and I'm not as glum about it at the moment.  So off to eat and get this day started with the kids.
On a brighter note though yesterday we had confirmation that the fax was received and my records were on the way to my oncologist. I also confirmed my appointment with Duke Med so I am at this point free from worrying about appointments until I get back from vacation.

August 18

Tuesday is hills work-out

Tuesday morning around 4:00 am I woke my poor wife up and proceeded to bother her with jokes about praying mantises.  What the conversations between two mating praying mantises would be like.  Such as the female praying mantis might say, "Hold on while I freshen up and then go to the bathroom and sharpen her mandibules.  Or the male might say, "I thought you were dating Bob, I haven't seen him around lately do you know where he is?"  We came up with some good ones and she teased me about waking her up so early for bad jokes but after waking up every few hours to change ice packs for my neck it was a welcome relief.
We did a hills workout in the morning and it felt good.  I even felt energized when we came back. We spent a fair amount of the day trying to get a fax over to the doctor who did my biopsy so they would release my records to the oncologist of my choice.  We faxed it 2 times and called and they had not recieved it but gave me a different number from what was on the form so we faxed it 2 more times.  My wife talked with a nurse at the cancer center nearest us trying to get an appointment and schedule some tests and received the worst run around.  This left my wife disturbed all day long and into the night.

August 16

My first run post biopsy

Went on my first run after the biopsy today.  I wasn't sure how it would feel with my neck being swollen and the stitches being tight but it felt good to be out running.  I really love my runs the good ones and the bad (I like the bad ones when they are over).  Not being able to run made me feel even more not normal than having a scar on my neck and a swollen goose egg.  What made the run great was that my wife's parents watched the kids and we could run together.  Usually we take turns watching the kids so the other can run so it was even better running with the one I love so much.  Afterwards I felt that the lump had gone down some.  I didn't break any records out there and I only ran 4.25 miles but whatever the distance or speed if your out there and you love doing it you're a runner.

August 14th